Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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