Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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