whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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