Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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