did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This is classic penis vs brain.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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