ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
