My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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