I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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