My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
