this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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