you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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