I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pants are for mortals
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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