Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
