so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
