Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
