I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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