Fuck appropriateness.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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