i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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