i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
