There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
