He had one of those small greek statue penises
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
