And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
