I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my shit smells like andre
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
soo... how was my night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
