Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
