How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do vagina's smell?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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