your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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