I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
