she was so not down for the gang bang
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
