last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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