i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
