drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
