if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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