TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
