Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
