He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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