nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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