The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
