Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
