all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
