drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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