I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize