I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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