It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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