Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
