just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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