i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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