Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
