he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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