I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
