so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize