I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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