I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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