so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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