She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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