I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
