I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
