I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
