what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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