About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
