Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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