My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
