i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
