this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
