Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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