i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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