I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We are two peas in an std pod
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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