At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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