Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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