i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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