This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
