It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
