hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
worst night to have a conscience
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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