Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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