There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize